this is about the time that my thoughts run haywire

i am in desperate need of one of our famous
stay-at-home-in-our-pjs-&-rent-movies-&-buy-ourselves-each-a-tub-of-ice-cream
nights.

i miss my best friends so damn much ): dude?! it's summer! what the fuck is going on?! bunny better come back from GAYdonesia ASAP! retuuurrrnn to me. bestfriends, can we please find time out of our--not even busy--lives so that we can make just as many memories, or hopefully more, as we had previous summers?!

in 12 hours i'll be working, awesome.

mindset

a slideshow of my past, present, and future is rolling in my head.

possible new living arrangements. it's been discussed and four of us have come together and have come to the conclusion that we need our own space. i think the only time i really get alone time is the time in which i am "getting my scrub on." ahaha. babe's lingo :) anywaaayyyss. me & a few others are considering getting a place we could call our own. the idea of it has a sort of euphonious sound; like music to my ears. independence never sounded sweeter. on the other hand:

-rent
-electricity
-water
-phone
-gas
-groceries

i think 4 roommates would make it so much easier. having one extra helping hand would make moving out a little better. i don't wanna give up my shopping time ): but i know that's just a sacrifice i am going to have to make. God, am i a baby or what!?! blaaah. well the area that my brother and rachel were looking in is more along the likes of alhambra or monterey park. i guess that way it would be the closest for all of us to get to where ever we need to go. which brings me to the point that citrus might not be the best choice for me. and that brings me to the other point that pasadena city college would be about five miles away from there. ai chihuahua. everyone better be dead serious about this.



s&f is this weekend, meaning i won't see christian for these upcoming days.
:/

dilemma

i already have my blink 182 tickets for bakersfield and irvine. and i just checked.. and the yeah yeah yeahs are playing the same day as blinks irvine show.


): bummer right?


another dilemma of mine---> enigmatic.
i pretty much haven't seen any of my friends in forever. my life is revolved around work & going back and forth from upland to west covina.. from west covina to el monte.. from el monte to lynwood.. lynwood to west covina... and then i find myself back in upland for about another week. and the routine continues. no one hits me up anymore. i guess it may be because i'm not down for my shit anymore? haa not even down to handle. that's all everyone ever does nowadays. pendejos with your fucking bud and booze. will that scene ever come to a halt with you guys? really now? i just wanna get on my dancing shoes and have a good time. a good sober time. fuck it.

im really not into giving my blogs titles anymore

likes are i won't go back to bed until a few more hours. and i am planning on waking up around 7 o'clock so that i can go for an early morning drive. i have been getting more sleep than usual lately. no room for complaints. yet i do so anyways haaa. for some strange reason i still find myself being preoccupied with roaming the thoughts of others. bumpits??? these stupid infomercials. who in the right mind would ever buy anything that they try to sell through tv? ha it amuses me.

seeing how others live their lives...quite frightening. the idea of growing up still leaves me scared shitless. i want to age for obvious reasons. but then again i want to remain this age for many more obvious reasons. i kinda wish i could do high school all over again. there are several things i would do differently the second time around. better grades. less fucking up. more spontaneity. not so much ditching. i wouldn't take back many of experiences for the world however. i had my share of fun. UCLA is still my dream but unfortunately it has been postponed for a few years :/ hopefully. as long as i get my college shit together then i should be all good.

here's what i had in mind:
-fast track classes
-honors program
-60 credits in 3 years or less

if i set my mind to it, i can do it. i can really do it. i will probably end up with a huge load of sleep debt however.

for everything else that is on my mind.. here's what i am looking forward to within the next couple of months.



and christian got me really psyched on this:

pleasant wake up call :)
except i loooooooooooove the way that you try to make me jealous.
funny guy.

change. so much change. constant movement. keep on moving. going forward. with you attending pasadena city college and me going to citrus.. and between you pursuing your passion and me scooping ice cream... wow. we better make this work. it will work. tons of effort. we can make this work. as long as we try. this is a two way sort of thing. meet me halfway, yes? just keep meeting me halfway. lets keep this little charade we have going on. we're on the right track.

you have easily managed to make me out to be exactly what i feared. exactly how i had already felt in the first place. you somehow made it even more real than it already was. thank you. burden. i burden you. if you truly love me then you would learn to accept me, along with my many troubling situations that i have to go through on a daily basis. you would be able to spend those annoying days with me and be able to let it all pass. after all, that means we get to have more leisure time to ourselves, am i right? don't blame me. i don't blame myself. this is my life after all. as if i would prefer it to be this way. you have got to be kidding me. i may not be okay with it, far from satisfaction. yet i accept it. all in all, i am grateful for everything you do for me. that itself is proof that this is a good match.

your french toast beat mine by a longshot. >:/

oh lordy

the mountains i would climb
the obstacles i would overcome
the sacrifices i would make
all for you.

taking it as it comes

it is far too simple to continually delay this routine i have going on.









i have lots to write about but i would much rather watch zack and miri instead.
maybe next time.

all you need is love

and a massive dose of trust; practice makes perfect