06.

i'm so tired of my life.

i'm tired of trying to make those i love happy; and the few times that i ask for any sort of favor in return it, strangely, bites me in the ass. why even bother going over and beyond for you? no gratitude in return. hardly any sign of appreciation. i can't even imagine you thinking about wanting to give me a speck of the world. the way i see it: if you truly love someone then you would want to do everything in your power to make them happy, make them not hurt anymore, make it so that the quality time you two spend together would somehow make all the worries in the world disappear. fuck, man. you don't love me. this is all just a wad of bullshit. how could something so important to me be so unimportant to you? shit. this can't be the real thing then. all along i've been too fucking hopeful. too fucking caught up in my own mind; thinking that you would somehow change for me. not yourself.. but certain views that you may have. i thought that you would come to realization and see that people do certain things that they don't want to do, just because they know it would put a smile upon the face of that certain someone they are "in love" with.

who am i kidding?
this is just another thing that gets thrown on top of the let-downs-of-my-life pile.