yesterday

how long will it take me to get over this? i know it's been not even a day yet i'm all ready to explode. it feels so surreal. for two and a half years my life had its ups and downs but it felt right. i thought everything was going amazing, but apparently i was wrong. apparently there were hidden emotions and thoughts; i guess i kinda knew they were there, but i just wasn't aware of how much it was effecting things between us. how could you play me for a fool? or, better yet, how could i allow you to play me for a fool? how could i be so naive? then again, i could be wrong. as the old saying goes: "if you love something, then let it go"? thats what we're doing here i guess. i love you more than anything. and i know you'd be crazy to say that you don't feel the same for me. so then what are you doing this for? why have you given up on me? when the going gets rough, you're supposed to hold on tighter. but instead you're letting go. leaving me. is this what you really want? i heard your quivering voice, saw your teary eyes when you said everything you had to say. this isn't what you want. it's the last thing i want.

the only person i truly counted on and trusted has left me high and dry...
so now what do i do?

i woke up on numerous accounts last night. i slept horribly and everytime i would awake your name and face came to mind. i can't recall any of my dreams but i'm pretty sure they involved you, or something like it. i'm holding my phone right next to me but for what? i know you're not going to call. denial much? as for today, i'm just gonna stay in bed and drown in my misery. it's a gloomy day outside & i'm soaking it all in. i forgot how it feels to have my heart broken. it feels worse and worse each time around. i don't think i'll ever grow immune. get me high, make me numb. i want to forget.

being crushed from your closing walls
i never thought it would have come to this
i'd try to tell you but my lungs are being crushed
my voice is the last thing that i thought i'd ever miss
i hope this makes you see just how you destroy me
now i guess i'm just a liar
would i be lying if i said i don't know?
now i guess that this is over
and i'm sorry that you have nothing to show
i hope this makes you see just how you destroy me
and i can't do what you please
when i haven't been standing on my own two feet
i'll come running back to you just like you knew i'd do



it's hard to talk when the words are on the tip of your tongue.

never going to give up on you like you did to me.